P.S. I'd love to see more posted from anyone else as well.
Title: Too Lost In You
Characters: Theo and Blaise
Secondary: Draco/Crabbe/Goyle/mentioned Pansy
Rating: PG-13 (surprising for me, really)
Disclaimer: The usual - I do not own the characters, I just love them and write about them.
"Of course he's going," came the clipped response, and Theodore felt the penetrating gaze of a pair of pale grey eyes sizing him up and waiting for a response that hadn't really been requested. It never mattered to the other boy, however, since they all knew it was expected.
Fortunately for Theo, he'd never really given much notice to him aside from generally walking with the others and sharing a few snide remarks in the middle of class. Even so, there was a certain level of respect that he held for all of the other Slytherin boys, regardless of whether or not this one had a particular superiority complex or a way of demanding things that made him bristle in irritation.
Looking up from his book, he looked between Crabbe and Goyle, taking note of their stupid expressions before addressing Draco. "And what makes you think I want to go?" he inquired, keeping the question half-civil, which was more a result of apathy than any real overture toward the other Slytherin.
"Because we're all going," Draco answered coolly as he pushed a piece of hair a half inch from where it had been, only to watch it fall exactly back into place with a confident smirk at his own reflection. "And I'm tired of watching you stay behind. It bores me."
"I fail to see how my being here while you're there could possibly-"
"-oh for the love of Merlin, you can go out with us one night." Draco whipped around to face him, his hands on his hips and his brows sharpening in frustration. He didn't often encounter resistance, and it showed. "It won't kill you, Nott."
Theo could also see some of the strain creasing at the edge of the boy's eyes, and though he knew it was likely due to the rumors that his Father was being investigated for "cavorting with nefarious sorts," he knew better than to mention it. It was enough that Draco was making such a fuss over the matter, and in the end, it wasn't worth it for him to continue refusing when he had nothing better to do that evening.
He knew it wasn't really his company that he wanted, anyway. It was the odd feeling of comfort that could be found in the presence of others who are like you, and though they didn't share much, they did possess that one commonality. Just as he had made up his mind to close his book and find something appropriate to wear, Draco apparently still felt he needed more convincing.
"Zabini's already there. It will be all of us tonight."
Pausing with the book poised only an inch from being fully shut, Theo's left eyebrow gave the barest of hitches. "You've already mentioned that we're all going," he sounded out slowly, his expression intentionally difficult to read, although he heard the very fine edge that had crept into his voice.
"So I did," Draco answered, drawing out the words and punctuating them with an insufferable smirk. "Need help dressing? I can be rather helpful in-"
"-no, thank you," Theo answered immediately, and dropped his book onto the nearby nightstand as he stood from his seat.
"Then at least take a look through my wardrobe. We're roughly the same size, and I refuse to go anywhere with you dressed in that," he countered, tipping his nose up and sliding in a vague insult to make up for Theo's dismissal of his offer.
"Fine," Theo answered quietly, and proceeded toward the selection available to find something that didn't flash or fit too snugly. It was difficult considering the other boy's almost unheathily slender figure, but he managed to sift through until he found a black shirt that shimmered almost deceptively in certain lights and a pair of fashionably worn black jeans.
"You almost look the part," Draco told him appraisingly, tugging a bit at the shoulder as he made sure it fit well enough to meet his approval. Theo assumed Crabbe and Goyle were hopeless enough to avoid the scrutiny as they were lounging nearby looking as lumpy and unappealing as usual. "Nice touch," he added, nodding at Theo's usual assortment of bracelets covering both wrists.
Pulling his hands back, he shoved them into his pockets to avoid any further inspection. He managed not to look at Malfoy as he did so, precisely because he could already sense that he wouldn't like the expression he saw there.
He was wearing red.
He was one of the very few Slytherins who could wear the color and get by with it. Theo thought it might have something to do with the way he knew how to choose just the right deep kind of hue that no sane person could confuse with anything degrading or debasing. He also suspected that it was the way the seemingly metallic material clung to his torso, showing off his chest and even the curve of his ribs when he moved just the right way.
And Blaise Zabini certainly looked like he knew how to move just the right way.
Tearing his eyes away when he felt an elbow nudging into his side, Theo inclined his head enough to hear what Draco was leaning in to yell into his ear. The music was so blaring where they stood that he could hardly hear it, but he nodded along with a basic understanding of the fact that they were moving in Zabini's direction - presumably to talk to the other boy.
"Oi! Zabini!" Draco called out, lifting a hand to catch the Slytherin's attention. The moment he recognized who had called him out by name, a devilish smirk graced his beautifully sculpted features and he began to make his way over. He danced through the crowd, pausing only to share an exchanged look with a select few before finally moving in to imitate a smaller version of a smooth, grinding sort of dance only a few inches away from Draco.
"Hello there, gorgeous, wanna dance?" he asked, and Theo could see from the shorter distance that his eyes were glittering with a different kind of sheen to him. Blaise had already been drinking, even though he knew that technically the place was meant for underage types. It didn't surprise him that the other boy had been cunning enough to either smuggle some in or find a source within, but it was still surprising to see that sort of expression on his face.
Draco glared at Blaise. "Stop being such a fucking tease, Zabini. We both know you won't dance with me."
At that, Theo's attention shifted between the two boys again. He had always suspected that there might have been something between them in the past, but the cross tone Draco had used seemed to imply otherwise. His own lips curled almost unnoticeably at the corner, and he watched as Blaise slid a foot back away from Malfoy, still grinning and still dancing in that enticing way he had.
"Ah yeah, you're quite right."
Malfoy responded with a mildly irritated huff. "Look, have you seen Pansy around?"
"Over there," he answered him, shooting a look toward a small group of females. They were dressed to kill, as well, and Theo wondered how many boys just might be slain before the night was over.
When Theo drew his attention back to the conversation at hand, however, he was surprised to see Blaise finally shifting his attention toward him, his devilish grin now subdued into an approving smirk. "Nice to see you're finally out, Nott," he told him casually, winking as he began to sink back into the dancing crowd again, his body taking the lead from the music as he turned to walk away.
Draco's cool voice interrupted his thoughts, forcing the image out of his mind unwillingly, and he almost bit out a harsh word before he caught himself.
"I'll be over there if you need me. I'd take you along, but they'd eat you alive," he informed him smarmily. Theo looked away rather than answering, sighing to himself once the boy was out of earshot.
"Fucking brilliant. Drags me here only to leave me to myself." Despite his grumbling, he knew he was probably being granted a great favor by avoiding the man-hungry posse altogether.
Shifting his weight onto his other leg, he let his eyes survey the room lazily, barely taking note of anything he saw and certainly not bothering to return any leering looks he received. He had very little desire to dance, and even less of a desire to mingle with any of the miscreants who weaseled their way into the club.
The heat of the club was somewhat stifling, and Theo had eventually taken up a place along the wall, leaning against it in a pose that seemed to speak of very little interest, which served him well as he had received significantly less offers now that he was away from the borders of the action. The other fortunate side-effect of his shadowed position was that it left him at leisure to watch any of the dancers he wanted.
Unfortunately, that meant his gaze had been unabashedly devoted to watching the seductive movements of one particular Slytherin boy who had always been a particular point of difficulty for him.
Blaise Zabini was popular and desirable, a fact he would have challenged even the most clueless Gryffindor to deny. He was also known for being unquestionably unattainable, despite his tendency to show special attentions to a select few. In fact, it was partly the reason Theo had always assumed he had something going on the side with Malfoy, although once Draco had begun showing a sudden unexpected interest in Parkinson, he had wondered if maybe his obsession with the theory had been borne somewhat out of jealousy all along.
It was infuriating to think of himself as the jealous sort. He wasn't the type to sulk about with the low-bred wish to be someone else.
He was, however, the lusting sort he had discovered, and -although it was painful to admit it- perhaps even a bit of the pining sort. The whole situation was absurd in most regards, especially considering that Zabini had so very rarely even acknowledged his presence beyond the expected invitation to group gatherings or an occasional unexpected gesture. More than once, he had suspected that Draco had been forced into encouraging Zabini to show the same friendly gestures toward him that he showed his closer Slytherin friends, and had Theo been any less of the pining sort, he might have let his wounded dignity refuse them.
As it was, he cherished them in a very pathetic, disguised sort of way.
Lost in his thoughts as he was, he almost missed the crooked finger that beckoned him onto the dancefloor. For a fraction of a second, he was tempted to look around him at the empty space along the walls to be sure he was the one being requested, but a sharp surge of pride wouldn't allow for it. Instead, he mentally reassured himself and debated wildly over how to respond.
He had the option of pretending he hadn't seen it at all. He also had the option of giving a negative shake of his head to decline, which all in all, would be understandable since he'd never felt any compulsion to want to dance among other sweat-covered, half-dressed bodies. He also had the choice of leaving entirely.
As he strolled slowly out onto the dancefloor to follow the beckoning, he firmly reminded himself of his other options and then weakly ignored them for an even stronger impulse.
Blaise was grinning so widely as he watched Theo approach that he wondered to himself if it was the nearest he'd ever actually seen to a genuine smile from the boy. He was sure it was the effect of the alcohol, but that thought did nothing to subdue the quickened pulse he felt inside. Theo had never seen quite an attractive grin in his entire life. The fact that it seemed to be intent upon shaming him at his behavior did nothing to lessen his admiration.
"You finally come out, Nott, and now you're standing against a wall? You're in a dance club; surely you know what people do such establishments," he teased him.
Theo rolled his eyes away from the expression, too afraid of giving something away to continue holding the gaze just then. "I don't dance, Zabini," he answered him.
"Are you sure about that?"
No earlier quickenings compared to the sudden surge that possessed his pulse when Zabini danced his way near enough to drape his arms around Theo's neck, pulling him closer in order to dance with him. "Not even with me?"
You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cause this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try
He felt fingertips pressing against the nape of his neck, buried in the hair on the back of his neck so that any movement of them seemed to send a trembling response through his body.
Zabini was watching him with a glint of triumph, and Theo was scrambling for an escape...or at least some way of escaping the sinking, ground-shifting feeling that was taking over his senses. Surely he wasn't this easy, but Blaise's expression seemed to be contradicting that very thought.
He was obviously finding him very easy.
One of the hands was dropping slowly, tracing over his spine until it came to a rest at the small of his back, and Theo was barely holding off a shivered reaction to the touch.
"What are you doing, Zabini?" he managed after a moment, swallowing quickly after the words had exited his throat.
"Dancing with you, Nott. What's it look like I'm doing?" he answered smugly.
"I-" he started, but the rest of the words failed him, and he lowered his gaze with a clouded expression, his brow furrowing uncomfortably.
I'm in over my head
You got under my skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in
And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time
"Relax, Nott. Put your damn hands on my waist and at least act like you know what you're doing," he drawled, inclining his head so that the words were spoken much lower than the others had been.
Part of him was angered by the fact that Blaise seemed it find necessary to nurse him through it, but the other parts were too preoccupied keeping their reactions in check to take much offense.
Figuring it would be better to simply follow the instruction rather than gain any unwanted attention from the crowd he could still feel around them, he placed his hands on both sides of Blaise's waist, starting at first with his fists clenched and then finally relaxing them to hold onto him properly. Blaise's body was warm even through the rich fabric, and Theo's eyes closed for a brief moment as he tried to adjust to the thoughts that continually tried to flood his mind.
Blaise's body was still moving to the music, and both had slowed to a slithering sort of seductive pulse. Theo was sure that he was asking too much of himself, and he was partway through convincing himself to walk away now when he felt a hitch in Blaise's dance, a very obvious pause before he gradually restarted the now familiar sway to his hips and torso.
Theo's eyes flicked upward, desperate for a moment that somehow the other boy had been able to read his thoughts, but he found that Blaise had been distracted by something else entirely. Zabini's gaze was focused on the bracelets hanging on his wrist, and Theo's gut clenched as he watched Blaise's brown eyes rising to meet his with a peculiar expression lingering behind them.
Fuck...fuck, just play it off.
"Look, I'm really not into dancing," he interrupted, dropping his hands away from the other boy and backing roughly out of his grasp. He was in no shape to handle this, and months of pitiful infatuation were threatening to take a much deeper root inside him if he didn't leave before Zabini had any further opportunities to cunningly lure his unacknowledged desires to the surface.
He could've sworn he heard a soft laugh following his departure, although he didn't look at his face to search for the expression or the cause, choosing instead to turn around and head directly for the exit.
Malfoy would simply have to fend for himself on the way home, or else depend on Crabbe or Goyle to escort him, because Theo wasn't going to be able to stand the weakening heat of the club for even one second longer. It was sweltering and oppressing, the sort of heat that made you feel as though you might starve in the pursuit of a full breath in your lungs. It was enough to make him dizzy suddenly, and he squeezed his eyes against the sensation, refusing to acknowledge them for anything more than a reaction to the burning heat.
A hand wrapped around his wrist, and he halted immediately to turned his head with a few curse words falling thickly on his lips for whomever who had dared try to prevent his escape. They never made it out because he caught enough of a glimpse to know it was Zabini holding him back. Theo's face turned forward away from him again.
"I gave that to you," came the voice at his ear. Zabini hadn't even bothered to turn him around, but instead remained behind him with his hand still holding firmly to his wrist so that Theo was sure he wasn't going to be allowed to pull away. "Didn't I?"
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)
Theo's eyes fell closed again, and the wavering feeling seemed to be taking him over fully. He wasn't accustomed to the feel of Blaise being so close or hearing his voice so near. Hell, he wasn't used to any of it, and his previous self-revelation of being the pining sort was steadily being crushed by something much more consuming and much more dangerous.
"I don't- I don't know what you're-" It was a hopeless thing to try to deny. He'd been lucky so far that none of the boys had noticed it. He supposed it was because they were familiar with his adornments, and none of them cared enough to inspect the selection or knew the particular bracelet well enough in the first place to pick it out.
When he'd received it as a birthday present from Zabini, the other boy had simply shrugged and made some comment about how it just seemed like something he would like considering that he often wore them. While he might have otherwise been impressed by the gesture, Theo hadn't missed the way Draco seemed to be insistent earlier in the evening that Blaise not leave the celebration early, and Theo had known even then that Blaise hadn't given it to him with any sort of sentimental thought behind it.
All the boys had gotten him a present.
But now the piece of jewelry felt tight around his wrist, and he would have sworn otherwise that it was burning into him just the same way the entire room seemed to be pressing in on him with a heat that threatened to rob him of any sanities at all. The worst of it came from the boy standing behind him, however, with his body so cruelly close that Theo was frightened of his own urge to press back into it.
Cause I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Falling into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind
"I know that's the one," Blaise repeated, apparently still waiting for an answer that Theo thought would have been made clear by his painfully obvious behavior.
"It's just a bracelet," Theo answered through clenched teeth, desperate for an excuse to be wearing it.
The short laugh came again, and Theo's eyes squeezed shut against the sound of it, certain that it was meant to be derisive even though it didn't quite sound that way when he was this close.
"I didn't believe him," Zabini continued, sounding as though he was musing to himself as much as he was speaking to Theo. "Said you wore it all the time, and I thought he was lying just to try to get me worked up."
Theo's chest pounded with a mixture between fear at being caught and rage at Draco for selling him out so viciously if he had indeed figured him out already.
"It doesn't mean anything," Theo bit out, his body tensing.
Blaise's grip loosened on his wrist for a moment, holding uncertainly there for several seconds before gripping again. When it did, the rest of Blaise's body followed, pressing up against Theo in a way that made his head spin with a heady sensation and the rest of him melt, giving up all manner of resistance.
"Liar," Blaise answered back, caressing his ear with a silken sort of voice that he'd never heard before or else he was sure he would've lost himself much, much sooner. Something in his voice seemed to leave more dangling between them, and even though it was beyond any rational possibility, Theo felt madly certain Blaise had left the most important words unsaid. It means something to me.
The sensation of Blaise's body molded against him was gone almost as unexpectedly as it had arrived, and Theo was left standing with a very cold shiver spreading up his spine to the nape of his neck where Blaise's fingers had been earlier.
Cursing himself for being so weakened by the encounter that he sacrificed all his dignity in turning around to see where the other boy had gone, he watched Blaise walking toward a darkened exit at the back of the club. It was madness to consider following him, and even worse to have to fight back the urge to correct the outright lie he had told only moments before, but no amount of counseling himself against it was quite enough to constrain him.
Even as he took the first few steps toward the slice of night that he had seen when Blaise left through the door, he knew he was far beyond any semblance of self-possession. He was far too lost in the other boy to see any other option but to follow him until he had that dizzying warmth spreading through him again - until he could find a way to make the other boy know everything that he couldn't possibly find words to tell him.
I'm going in crazy in love for you baby
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can rescue me
Knowing Blaise Zabini, it was going to be hell...it might even be worse than hell, but it would be worth it.
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)